If you are still stuck, then be sure to call our planning specialist Rita White. She has a special heart for these services and would be very happy to assist in brain-storming some ideas on what to say and how to say it.
If you have been asked to speak at a friend's or loved one's funeral, please plan out your eulogy in advance. You want have the opportunity to say all the things you want to say. The first thing to ask yourself is, "Am I comfortable saying something positive about this person?" You don't have to say the deceased walked on water, but if you can't think of one nice thing to say, then it's probably best to decline and say that you're too overcome by grief to be able to speak effectively.
The next thing to find out, is how long should you plan to speak for? Will they be having a few people speak and want each person to keep their comments to a few minutes? Are you going to be the only speaker, and five minutes would be too few, or would 20 minutes be more appropriate?
Once you know how long to speak, then you can plan your eulogy from there. Think about some key ideas that are most important to you about this person. Once you have a handful of big ideas, think about a personal story that would help to illustrate each idea. Consider who's attending the funeral. The closest family will be sitting up front, so be sure to look at them as you talk about some personal trait that really meant a lot to you. If it meant a lot to you, it likely meant a lot to those first few rows as well.
Even if you plan your eulogy out using a computer or online tool, make sure to bring a hand-written copy for the next of kin. You've just shared an incredibly personal story, and it may not have been recorded. Leaving a bereaved spouse or child with a such a personal memory will likely be cherished and referred back to for some time.